“Hmm,” she started, “what gave you the impression that’d be enough?” She turned to face him and cocked her head, holding it up boredly with a spare arm. She motioned lazily toward Mike’s wondrous pile of riches. “Have you taken a good look at the treehouse anyway? Have you even seen all its furnishings, do you even know how labor-intensive it was?” Of course, he had enough gems for as much as twenty fancy lighthouses if he really wanted. But he didn’t seem to know that. He stared dumbly at her, and she continued with her uninterested spiel. “Did you even see the lighthouse on top? Do you even know how expensive that was to install?”

And it worked out pretty well. Mike’s mouth was gaping, and he looked slightly dazed. It practically read on his expression. Is she serious? Am I really that naive? Perfect! That was just what she wanted to see. Something in him she could crush. Pathetic little kids thinking they could do anything, that was what made her mad.

“Well?” she asked. Impatiently.

“Th-- that can’t be!” he stuttered. He looked like he might break at any moment. “Here, you didn’t see everything here, look at these!” He frantically motioned to the very gem she kept her eye on through the whole charade, a lovely chargestone. “Are you familiar with the utility rocks? How about this?! Seen a chargestone before?!”

Of course she had. This was likely the most money that had ever gone through a business transaction in her office at any one time. But he didn’t need to know that. “I’m familiar with all manners of stones, idiot! But do you have any idea how hard it was to build on that tree? It got really smashed up during... you know. I’m afraid these just won’t cut it.” She turned away from him, hardly able to contain herself at that lie. She kept up her facade, but barely. It took an incredible amount of willpower to not laugh. Oh, how she wanted to see the misery on his face!

She heard a sigh. That was nice. But then, a claw was placed at her shoulder. “I’m... I guess I got too ahead of myself again. I... I didn’t think this wouldn’t be enough. I’m sorry, but I’ll do whatever you want. I mean... yeah, anything. What do you want?”

This was an unexpected turn of events. There was so much potential! “Anything... do you mean that, Mikey-boy?” She tried very hard to keep her black coloration, for anything else would ruin the perfect environment for his hopelessness to bloom. She looked over her shoulder at him with dire seriousness.

“I... I, I... guess... even that, if that’s what you’re asking. Opa-- I guess.. she’d be okay with it too! Anything for the Rescuers, you know...” Again with that stupid other Pokemon. But, this was just too funny. Too funny! Mike was so naive, just so incredibly immature still! It was really amazing and unbelievable that he could be pranked so hard so easily.

Finally, she reached her own limit. She turned away from him and started to laugh. It might have been something closer to a cackle. What a dolt! What an idiot! Why deal in gems when you barely know their worth?! It made her both angry and amused that he didn’t understand the value. It delighted her that she could still overwhelm him and destroy his self-confidence, but she was also angry that he didn’t call her bluff. There was probably no pleasing her in her current state, anyway. But she continued to laugh regardless.

“What... PK, this is really scary. Is there really more to you than... that?”

She finally caught her breath after a few more moments, and turned to look at him, still hunched over. Mike seemed to have seen something frightful, for he stepped back and nearly lost his balance. Something terrified him. It was probably time to end her little game, now that it had reached a good enough climax for her.

She tried to smile. “You dumbass! Fresnel already paid for the whole thing out of his own pocket!” Well, that was almost the truth. I guess Anana’s borrowed pocket would be a little more accurate of a description here. “You don’t owe me anything but the insurance each month. And even then, he’s paid a year in advance, so you don’t even have to worry about your forgetfulness for a while!” She walked right up to him. Anything to make him feel more uneasy.

“...I... All that... tension. Kheh... is that so?” Mike’s expression changed. Something was ticking in there. She didn’t particularly like the look.

“Yup. Turns out you did waste my time after all, huh? Now get your sorry ass outta here.” It was time for her to get back to--

“...no.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t. This... this has been in my heart.” What was he blabbering on about now?

“What? Stop babbling-”

“I mean!! This!!” Mike stepped forward, grabbed PK by the arms, and tried to pull something like a deep kiss off. It was a bizarre display, and looked more like a lizard trying to gobble another’s face, but PK found herself feeling as dumbfounded as Mike had been during her trickery moments before. Finally, she realized that she was not, in fact, locked in some strange nightmare, and pushed him away. Forcefully.

“What the HELL Mike?! Get OUT OF HERE!” She ushered him out the door, though perhaps it was more akin to shoving, and slammed it shut. It was then that she realized she still had all of his gems. She quickly went to collect them in his sack. She wasn’t going to be branded a thief again.

From outside her office, she heard Mike laughing delightfully. “That was worth all those gems! You can keep them!” This was entirely and completely both frustrating and flustering. She hurried up with her task, then opened the door to drop the gems outside her office. It was then that Mike made the mistake of trying to stick his foot in the doorway as she went to slam the door a second time. Whatever he said beforehand was lost to her as he screeched his pain.

“WHAT more do you WANT?!” It wasn’t at all surprising that she had taken on a red shade similar to the color her father often wore. It wasn’t a color she fancied very much, but alas.

“Look!” Mike feebly tossed a couple of dazzling beauties of gems at the foot of the door, as well as a flask containing some kind of purple liquid. “Opal does more than just gems!” he said through obvious pain. “Keep those, and show it to Shroomsworth too! I’m sure he can see business from Opal more than a mile away. And that drink... it’s yours for you to keep. But if you don’t like it... I guess you can give it to him too if he fancies a hard tea,” Mike gasped.

It wasn’t enough before, no. He just had to go and mock her. Her color was once more gone, as per usual. “Yeah. No. That won’t be happening. Thanks anyway, but...” she looked around, grim and anxious. “Just stop it. I’m really sick and tired of people making fun of me. Just tired of it.” Mike had moved his foot finally (and it was already starting to swell, she could see), and so she closed the door for the final time that day. He heard the lock engage.

“Ah... wait, no. I’m sorry for kissing you, but I don’t wanna ruin Opal’s career! Wait, please!”

But that was it. She didn’t want to hear him any longer. She had almost forgotten that Mike wasn’t the visitor she wanted to see, and then he had to go and give her a nasty reminder. She couldn’t even cry. It was she alone who had come up with those unreasonable expectations on her visitor before even being sure of his identity, but that didn’t make it sting less.

And then she heard Mike talking more. To whom? Curiosity got the best of her (and served a dual purpose as a distraction from her own unhappiness), and so she listened in. Eavesdropping, as unfavorable as it was for many, was in fact a favorite pastime of PK’s. Especially if it might concern her.

“...is your foot bleeding? Ah you really should be careful! I told you! I hope you intended to listen next time?” Malt...

“T-thanks and sorry, but I had a feeling PK was... well, PK. But... hey what happened? And where’s Shroomsworth? Is he working out somewhere?” Stupid, stupid Mike...

“Oh dear... there’s a lot you need to catch up on. I suppose I can give you a run down while I get your foot fixed up...”

PK lost her interest in listening in, as well as her interest in doing anything with anyone for the rest of the day. She crawled under her desk and lay there for hours, eventually falling asleep.

=====

Part 33 of "The Dates"
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