Was he always this unreasonable?
She wondered if unreasonable was an accurate way to describe him. Many things fell into this category, so it was mostly out of habit that she arrived at that particular word. Food being underseasoned was unreasonable. Uninvited guests trespassing was unreasonable. Servants going against her will was most certainly unreasonable.
He was never a servant, though, was he? It was hard to remember that. It wasn’t her fault, really. She hadn’t had anyone around her in such a long time that was able to defy every aspect of her charms, her guile, and most of all, her outright power. How long ago was it, anyway? Surely the better part of a century, although she didn’t really want to believe it had been that long. Putting it out of her mind had always been the easiest and most sensible way to deal with her losses, as she was never one to show weakness around servants. Besides, it just wouldn’t be proper.
He wasn’t a servant, though, and they were alone. Appearing proper wasn’t an issue she was concerned about at this point in time. The feelings that had been sealed off and long since forgotten for nearly a hundred years threatened to cut off her ability to think and speak coherently, and she knew she had to remain strong. At least, for just a little while longer. This encounter was to end soon. She wanted to remember these moments.
“Merlot, I cannot stay here. Everyone in this castle would be placed in the path of unnecessary danger, and for what? For a companion that is little more than a shadow? You now know everything I know, and yet you still ask? Please, Merlot, you should know better.”
She did know better, and had already thought of those things. Unfortunately, he turned down the idea of removing the servants from the castle permanently. She didn’t have any proposed solution for his second point, and that saddened her. He didn’t care that she didn’t care, which was just.. unreasonable. She didn’t know how to deal with anyone turning her down, and she wasn’t sure she liked that.
The wind blew through an open window near the both of them, and he seemed to fade a little. He seemed to be struggling to simply exist in this place, and no one else but her would probably be able to tell. She wondered, briefly, if that Gabite would have been able to. Probably not. That fellow didn’t seem too bright, from what little she had heard of him. No offense intended.
The bout with the gust of wind finally over, he once again become a bit more visible and stood straight up, looking directly at her. She couldn’t get enough of that. It was ridiculous! How could anyone stand before her in all her might, amidst all her servants, in her very own place of power, and still stand, unflinching and unwavering? He could, evidently. Even in his poor state, he hadn’t lost any of his own pride.
He was just so impersonal and detached, though. He really wasn’t like this before, and it was unsettling. It was probably because of his current condition, being a ghost and all. There were glimmers and traces of what she viewed as his actual person, but those were few and far between. The old him wouldn’t have been so far away, much less turn her down.
She knew that last thought was just wishful thinking, but it was all right to wish. She had done much of that over the last century, with little results to show for it.
“Merlot, I need to be going, now.”
Was it really over? Sure, he wasn’t quite himself, and sure, everything that made him what he was seemed to be faded, but still! This shadow of someone she used to know was better than nothing, right?
Even though she thought so, he didn’t. That’s what it came down to, really. He would do what he wanted to do, no matter how many people attempted to stop him, physically or otherwise. He was always like that. She wanted to take comfort in the fact that at least that aspect of him hadn’t been lost, but it was difficult. That facet of him was the only thing preventing her from getting what she wanted. It wasn’t fair.
She wished that she could get the old him back. This would be her last wish, so that made it special, right?
“We’ll have lunch when I’m finished, Merlot. Even though I may not eat as much as I used to.”
Just as she was realized what he had just said, he was gone. Did he have to make the same promise? That was too much for her to bear.
So she didn’t. It was fine to cry, sometimes. As long as no one could see.
He really was unreasonable.
(This took place during M5 epilogue)